Strong foundations — from day one

Walk into any transitional kindergarten (TK) or kindergarten classroom, and you’ll likely see a teacher helping a student solve a conflict over a toy, supporting a child through separation anxiety, redirecting a student who is crawling under a table, or celebrating a child who remembered to ask for help instead of crying. While academic learning is certainly taking place, much of the work in early childhood education requires something equally important: helping young children learn how to be part of a community.

The reality is that behavior management and social-emotional learning (SEL) are inseparable in TK and kindergarten. Young children are still developing the skills necessary to regulate emotions, follow directions, solve problems, manage frustration, and interact appropriately with peers. When educators understand this developmental reality, behavior challenges become opportunities for teaching rather than simply problems to solve.

Understanding the child’s first school experience For many children, TK and kindergarten represent their very first experience in a formal school setting. As educators, it can be easy to forget how overwhelming that transition may feel.

Imagine arriving alone in a new city where you do not know the language, the customs, the expectations, or the people around you. You would be thrown into being expected to navigate unfamiliar routines, separate from the people who make you feel safest, interact with strangers, and quickly learn a new set of rules. For many 4- and 5-year-olds, that is exactly what starting school feels like. Even at ages 4 and 5, our young children enter our classrooms carrying a wide range of experiences, skills, and comfort levels. Some have attended preschool for years, while others may have spent most of their time at home with family. Regardless of their background, entering a classroom full of new faces, sounds, expectations, and routines can activate a child’s stress response system.

This is why behavior management in early childhood begins long before correcting behavior. It must begin with intentionally creating environments that help students feel physically and emotionally safe. When children feel safe, their brains are more available for learning, relationship-building, and problem-solving.

Research on brain development reminds us that when children experience stress or uncertainty, the amygdala, the brain’s alarm system, can become activated, making it difficult for students to access the parts of the brain responsible for reasoning, self-regulation, and learning (Siegel & Bryson, 2011). Predictable routines, visual schedules, consistent adult responses, welcoming classroom environments, and strong relationships help calm that alarm system and communicate to children that they are safe.

Every procedure we teach, every routine we establish, and every predictable response we provide sends an important message: You belong here. You are safe here. We will help you learn what comes next.

When educators intentionally build systems and structures that provide consistency and predictability, they are not simply managing classrooms; they are creating the conditions necessary for young children to thrive as they transition to their first years of school and throughout their educational journey.

Behavior is communication One of the most important mindset shifts educators can make is recognizing that behavior is communication.

When a 5-year-old throws a chair, refuses to participate, cries excessively, or runs from the classroom, they are communicating a need. They may be overwhelmed, frustrated, tired, anxious, confused, seeking connection, or lacking the language to express what they are feeling.

Rather than asking, “How do I stop this behavior?” educators should first ask, “What is this child trying to tell me?”

This doesn’t mean inappropriate behavior should be ignored. Expectations and boundaries remain critical. However, understanding the function behind the behavior allows adults to respond more effectively and teach replacement skills that will serve the child long after the behavior has stopped.

Research consistently demonstrates that young children’s social-emotional competencies are closely linked to academic success, school engagement, and long-term outcomes (Denham, 2006; Jones & Kahn, 2017).

Establish predictable routines Young children thrive on predictability. Many behavior challenges stem from uncertainty about what is expected or what will happen next. Consistent daily routines help children feel safe and reduce anxiety.

Effective TK and kindergarten classrooms often have:

Visual schedules — At the beginning of the day, a teacher might review the schedule with students: arrival, morning meeting, literacy instruction, snack, recess, math, lunch, centers, and dismissal. While adults may take this type of information for granted, young children often find comfort in knowing what comes next. A predictable sequence of activities helps students focus less on navigating uncertainty and more on engaging in learning.

Consistent transition routines — Simple practices such as using the same clean-up song, countdown, chime, or line-up procedure each day help students know what is expected and reduce anxiety during transitions. When children can predict how one activity ends and another begins, they are more likely to remain regulated and engaged.

Structured opportunities for movement — Young children are not designed to sit for extended periods of time. Incorporating brain breaks, movement activities, stretching, songs with actions, and opportunities to learn while moving can improve attention, reduce frustration, and support self-regulation throughout the day.

Regular opportunities for choice — Regular opportunities for choice help students develop independence and a sense of ownership in their learning. Offering simple choices, such as selecting an activity center, choosing between two tasks, or deciding where to work, can increase engagement while helping children practice decision-making and responsibility.

Teach expectations like academic skills Teachers would never expect students to solve a math problem they have never been taught. Yet sometimes adults expect children to know how to share, wait their turn, handle disappointment, or resolve conflicts without explicit instruction.

Behavior expectations should be taught just like academic standards. Effective classrooms dedicate time to teaching and practicing: how to walk in line, how and when to ask for help, using kind words, cleaning up materials, entering and exiting the classroom, working with others and how to identify and manage strong emotions.

These skills require direct instruction, modeling, role-playing, repeated practice, and regular opportunities for feedback.

One effective strategy is using the phrase: “I’ll show you. We’ll practice. Then you’ll try.”

This gradual release model helps children build confidence while learning new social behaviors.

Focus on connection before correction Children are more likely to accept guidance from adults with whom they feel connected.

In the rush of a busy school day, it can be tempting to focus primarily on correcting behavior. However, research shows that positive adult-child relationships are among the strongest protective factors for student success (Pianta, 1999).

Simple connection strategies can have a significant impact: intentionally greeting each child by name as they enter the classroom, offering specific praise, showing interest in students’ interests and incorporating them throughout the day, spending short moments of one-on-one time with challenging students, and celebrating effort and growth.

Students who receive the most corrections are often the students who need the strongest relationships. A colleague of mine once shared that, “Students who need the most love often show it in the most unloveable ways.” A child who feels seen, valued, and connected is more likely to engage positively and recover from mistakes.

Teach emotional vocabulary early Young children cannot regulate emotions they cannot identify. Helping students build emotional vocabulary provides a foundation for self-awareness and self-regulation.

Instead of limiting emotions to “happy,” “sad,” and “mad,” educators can introduce words and give examples around emotions such as frustrated, excited, disappointed, proud, worried, calm, lonely and confused.

Classroom discussions, read-alouds, modeling, role-play opportunities, and daily check-ins provide opportunities to practice identifying emotions.

Many classrooms successfully use feelings charts or emotion check-in boards where students can indicate how they are feeling each morning.

The goal is not simply identifying emotions but helping children understand that all emotions are acceptable, even when certain behaviors are not.

Create calm spaces instead of punishment spaces Traditionally, some classrooms relied on “time-out” spaces designed primarily as consequences.

Today, many educators are moving toward calm-down spaces that focus on skill-building rather than punishment.

A calm-down area might include soft seating, feelings visuals, breathing strategy cards, sensory tools, books about emotions, and visual calming techniques. The purpose is not to isolate students but to provide tools for regulation.

In place of opening up a space and hoping students use it correctly, like all other classroom routines and expectations, these expectations must be explicitly taught, modeled, and retaught to be an effective tool. This instruction must occur outside of any behaviors or heightened emotions.

When implemented effectively, calm spaces help children learn that strong emotions are manageable and that they have strategies available to regain control.

Reinforce positive behavior frequently One common mistake is providing more attention to inappropriate behavior than appropriate behavior.

Young children repeat behaviors that receive attention. Effective teachers intentionally look for opportunities to reinforce desired behaviors and use behavior-specific language and practice to reinforce desired behaviors. For example, “I noticed you shared your markers” is far more effective at reinforcing the expectations teachers have of students while using materials instead of a broad statement such as, “I like how you are working.” Students should understand exactly what behavior earned the recognition.

Positive reinforcement does not require elaborate reward systems. In many cases, adult attention and acknowledgment are the most powerful reinforcers available.

Teach conflict resolution Conflict is inevitable in early childhood classrooms. The goal is not preventing all conflict but helping students learn how to navigate it. Simple conflict-resolution frameworks can be taught through modeling and repetition.

For example:

Frameworks must be provided to our young students through both visual and auditory materials and be taught, modeled, re-taught, and reinforced outside of a conflict. Opportunities for students to role play and provide feedback to one another provides students a space to solidify these skills in a regulated state outside of conflict.

Teachers often serve as coaches during these interactions rather than solving every problem for students. Over time, children should be pushed to use these strategies independently, developing skills that support both academic and social success.

Partner with families Families are essential partners in supporting social-emotional development. Parents often appreciate practical strategies they can reinforce at home. Communication should focus on collaboration rather than blame.

Instead of saying: “Your child had a difficult day,” consider: “We are working on strategies to help your child manage frustration. Here are some approaches that seem helpful at school. Have you noticed anything that works well at home?”

This approach positions both school and family as members of the same support team. Consistency between home and school often accelerates progress.

When additional support is needed While most behavior challenges are developmentally appropriate, some students require additional intervention.

Educators should pay attention to patterns such as persistent aggression, frequent elopement, significant emotional dysregulation, extreme withdrawal, inability to participate in daily activities, and behavior that does not improve with classroom support.

Early intervention matters. School counselors, psychologists, administrators, behavior specialists, and family partnerships can help identify underlying concerns and develop targeted supports. The earlier concerns are addressed, the greater the likelihood of positive outcomes.

The long-term impact It is easy to underestimate the significance of teaching a child how to wait patiently, ask for help, identify emotions, or solve a conflict with a peer. Yet these foundational skills often predict future success as strongly as early academic achievement.

Children who develop social-emotional competencies are better equipped to build relationships, engage in learning, persist through challenges, and contribute positively to their communities (Durlak et al., 2011).

Behavior management in TK and kindergarten is not about controlling children. It is about teaching skills. Every conflict becomes an opportunity to teach problem-solving. Every emotional outburst becomes an opportunity to teach regulation. Every classroom interaction becomes an opportunity to strengthen relationships.

When educators approach behavior through the lens of skill-building, they create environments where young children can thrive academically, socially, and emotionally.

The work is not always easy, but every relationship built and every skill taught helps lay the foundation for future success.